Do you throw salt over your shoulder if you’ve spilt some when you’re cooking? Rachel Ray does. Would you walk under a ladder? Cross the street to avoid a black cat crossing your path?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Like everything else in life I keep changing my mind about what I believe.

I have a good luck dress. But I don’t fit into it any more. Someone once gave me a lucky silver dollar coin but I can’t find it. That might explain my life.

My grandmother always told me to “walk out with my right foot so I’d have
a lucky day.” The two things I always tell my granddaughters are “close your mouth when you chew gum or your stomach will get bloated” and “always wear lipstick when you go out even if you’re just taking out the garbage—you never know who you might bump into.”

Thirty years ago, Marge, a former neighbor, advised me to “touch a button” if I saw a funeral procession or I’ll have bad luck. I’m more fearful of not following Marge’s warning than I am of not following the Ten Commandments. But who has buttons anymore? Snaps, Velcro, zippers, yes. Buttons, no.

Do you ever have days when you realize your bathroom scale hates you, your dog has diarrhea in the living room, and you just broke a crown eating a bagel? I have. Many days. If I walk under a ladder to pick up a mirror I just broke and a black cat crosses my path it’s child’s play in comparison.

There are cat people and there are dog people. I’m one of the dog people.
I’ve had cats. Actually, I can’t resist a kitten. They remind me of my children when they were little. Cute and cuddly. But then, like children, kittens grow up. They’re not cute and cuddly anymore. Just very independent.

Never liked Felix the Cat. He was too happy. I wonder if he knew he was black and unlucky. I never liked Tom and Jerry cartoons. Tom, the cat, was a schemer. Puss in Boots was an outlaw.

Somebody once gave me a mug with a black cat on it. I couldn’t possibly drink from it. I used it to collect dead beetles from my tomato plants. Somebody else once gave me a T-shirt with a picture of a black cat. I gave it to Goodwill.

The cat people are going to hate me but as far as I’m concerned, no cat can hold a candle to Lassie.

Sorry, I got carried away. Cat people are entitled. Some people don’t vote the way I do but I still talk to them.

So what’s the harm in thinking that a black cat crossing your path made you lose an earring or a four-leaf clover has the power to find a lost earring?  When my husband couldn’t find his car key, a waitress told him to ask St. Anthony, Finder of Lost Things, for help.

“St. Anthony, St. Anthony,
please come around—
my car key is lost,
and it cannot be found.”

My husband asked and found the car key. Since then, my husband has had an on-going relationship with St. Anthony. When he can’t find his car key, his iPhone, his sunglasses, his credit card or his hearing aids, he calls upon St. Anthony. When I helpfully mention to my husband that if he were more organized, had a system, and put his things back in the same place, he wouldn’t lose them all the time, he always responds, “I don’t lose things, I mislay them.” Someday I will tell St. Anthony that he doesn’t have to help my husband because my husband doesn’t lose things, he only mislays them.

These days you’re lucky if anything helps you get through these days.

It’s usually, the scary omens that really scare me.

If I walk under a ladder, I’ll have bad luck.

If I open an umbrella indoors I’ll have bad luck.

Since Friday the 13 is an unlucky day, I better stay in bed all day.

The number 666 is bad luck. The number 17 in Italian is bad luck.
The number 240 is bad luck if it’s my cholesterol level.

An owl flying over my house is bad luck but even worse bad luck
is when a bird flying over my husband’s head pooped all over him.

If I break a mirror and something bad happens to me l blame the mirror. It’s not my fault. I know that’s dumb and makes no sense but neither does life.

And Lucky Charms aren’t lucky. The World Health Organization has identified glyphosate, a common weed killer and a probable carcinogen, as an ingredient in Lucky Charms, Oh those poor little marshmallows.  

A lucky rabbit’s foot wasn’t lucky for the rabbit.

An itchy palm doesn’t mean you’ll get money. It only means you should see a dermatologist.

What’s lucky about a lucky penny? You can’t even buy penny candy for a penny today.

Superstition Spoiler: there’s no such thing as good luck or bad luck, only good choices one makes and bad choices. Nevertheless, try not to break a mirror because you might cut yourself, don’t walk under a ladder because a paint can might fall on you, and don’t knock on wood because you might get a splinter.

You’re just a button click away and I’d love to hear from you.