Remember the 1979 movie “10”? Dudley Moore called Bo Derek a
perfect 10 out of 10 based on her looks. More interesting to me was
her hair in cornrows and beads. I read it took glue and two women
10 hours to braid. I gave up trying to duplicate the look in 10 minutes.
The number 10 has a long history. Moses had to carry those heavy
stone 10 Commandment tablets down from Mt. Sinai 3,500 years ago.
Too bad he didn’t live today. He wouldn’t have needed 10 Commandments.
Nobody has time to remember 10 things, anymore. Everybody’s too
busy. So I edited Moses’ Commandments.
The Original Ten
1. You shall have no other gods before Me
You really think people are going to agree on one god?
Whose god? There are over 4,200 religions in the world.
Congress has only two branches and has trouble agreeing
on everything.
2. You should not make idols.
But from Adele to Jay-Z we idolize our celebrities.
3. You should not take the name of the Lord your
god in vain.
What happened to “Sticks and stones may break your
bones, but names will never hurt you.”
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
God was able to rest on the Sabbath. He wasn’t a working mother.
5. Honor your father and mother.
It’s a lot easier if they live in another state.
6.You shall not murder.
Love this one. No more wars.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
Deal breaker.
8. You shall not steal.
Especially an election.
9. You should not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Mind your own business.
10. You should not covet your neighbor’s anything.
See Commandment 7.
I saved three Commandments: 5, 6, and 8.
But here are 3 alternatives. What do you think?
1. Follow the Golden Rule.
Do unto others what you wish they do unto you.
2. Pay your taxes.
No matter who’s in Washington.
3. Obey traffic signals.
StiIl thinking about 10 though.
I was 10 years old in 1945 when Susan Masback invited ME to her birthday party. Susan was in my class at Hunter College Elementary School. She was perfect. She had perfect hair, a perfect nose, every boy was her boyfriend and she lived on Park Avenue. She won every game of dodge ball and was every teacher’s favorite.
I had heard she was adopted and that made her even more special. I always wished I had been adopted. Susan never asked me to her house
to play after school so I didn’t know why she’d invited me to her party. We played jump rope in front of her apartment building. The doorman had a
fancy uniform and kept telling us to get out of the way.
The world stood still that day not because of Susan’s party but because Franklin Delano Roosevelt died that day. Some people were sobbing, others celebrating. But what I’ll never forget was Susan Masback’s birthday party. Too bad that’s real life. What happens to us can seem more important than what happens to the world.
Some how I survived Susan’s party and being a shy, gawky 10-year-old
who lived in a railroad flat on the wrong side of 3rd Avenue.
By the way, the U.S. Constitution starts with 10 of the most important
Amendments. No way am I going to mess around with those 10. That’s the glue that holds this country together.
You’re just a button click away and I’d love to hear from you.
About your world, your family,
your joys and frustrations,
growing up, growing older,
even recipes–
even though I stopped
cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns out as well
as I hope (but doubt) mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
I strongly believe the 10 commandments need to be edited to the ones you have created. This blog had me laughing so thank you for that. I love the uniqueness and creativity behind this. You bring up great points. EVERYONE needs to read this and all your blogs. I CAN NOT wait to see what comes next blog. Thanks for being you!!
Golly, how come I didn’t see this until today, October 25th? It’s one of your best, and that’s a hard thing to do because what you write is always worth while and memorable.
Next time you can do the 10 plagues! I’d love to see what you do with that —
Looking forward to it already,
Styra
Toots, you never cease to amaze with your freakin’ brilliant insights and off-beat sense of humor. As always, you give me new ways of thinking about stuff I didn’t even know I needed to consider. Hope you are chugging along, my friend. You make me smile!
Once again I remember how brilliant you are. I loved Dudley Moore. Had forgotten Bo Derek except for the fact that her husband kept marrying her look a-likes. Even 10’s have expiration dates.
I can’t remember anything. At the deli counter at Publics yesterday, the counter person asked for my entire order, all three items. I asked if this meant I could collect a couple things while she sliced my order. She said “Sure.”. Next thing I know, I’m home wondering where the deli stuff is. Drive back to Publics to collect the order and have a good laugh at myself. Made them promise not to let me wander off next time.
Love your edits. Wish we could all just be kind.
Cindy
Ginny, Now, I’m happy. After reading a lot of e-mails either asking me for money or making me wish my life was really different…I saw that you had an e-mail “10” that, as always, has me remember and realize my life was terrific and that I would never braid my hair like that…it looks painful. No way was I ever to be on a screen. I was a lead in a local play and when a stranger acknowledged me… I almost wanted scream at her, but I didn’t, I just stood there speechless…I didn’t even acknowledge her. Stars with braided hair or not are not born but the product of a very smart agent and PR machine. I love God a lot and you almost as much. You are marvelous…I think that’s the same as, “Love thy neighbor as thyself . Kisses!
Wow…you have a great sense of humor! This was so funny…and so true! And the best for last…agreed…you cannot change a man…but you can try to change the channel when he falls asleep! Lol.
I had lunch yesterday with Louise Easton. It was fun talking about the old days.
I love this blog.
k
Yikes! I got kicked off and started over. Love your blog. I was just starting to miss them when 10 was posted. Maybe with some creative math we’re all a 10. Then again, what difference does it make? Thanks for giving me something to think about-again.
I also wanted to say that I think you are very creative, and I like your “take” on things you write about. I love your stuff and look forward to reading your blog every month.
Hilarious and true. The 10 commandments definitely need updating, and I like your changes.
Maybe Susan didn’t have playdates with anyone. When I was small, the richest kid of the Central Park Group that my mom and I hung out with never had playdates with any of us–not even ones who were also rich. She had a birthday party in the playground overlooking Wollman skating rink, like most of us did. The difference was that her family hired a clown to entertain us whereas none of us did that. The entire group was included.
Interesting tie-in to Roosevelt’s death.
I love the part where you and Susan played jump rope in front of her building. It brought back good memories.
I lived around the corner from the RKO 58th Street theater. 58th Street was wide, and I would jump rope, play hula hoop, and draw with chalk near the theater with my friend Linda, who lived next door to me. (We also lived in railroad flats.) Nobody chased us away, not even pedestrians. If our parents wanted to know where we were, they called (on the phone!) the ticket seller out in front of the theater. Sometimes they asked the ticket seller to tell us to come home. Imagine doing any of that today!
10 best things are you….
love you
I have no wish to change a man in diapers and I wish I could get rid of shingles.Other than that life is O.K. Family came for holidays and I am hanging in. Gotta keep a positive attitude. I am pretty successful. The sun is shining today.Your blog is great. I love it.
I love this blog. I would make commandment #11: Thou shalt not complain, at least not to me. I have no patience for whiners!
Dear Gingy,
Your writing – and attitude – make me happy.
I’ve had health struggles and each time I need a lift, I reread one of your books or peruse your blogs.
Thanks from a grateful fan in Philly!
Okay,
5. Honor your father and mother.
It’s a lot easier if they live in another state. …. Hysterical and true.
What happens to us can seem more important than what happens to the world. True and must be a way to be empathetic to both.
Terrific, as usual.
Allia
Dear Gingy,
How you remain amazing year after year astounds me—in
full possession of your wit, your smarts, your memory, and your charm.
Number 10 in my book—forever,
Fondly,
Ann
Your commandments are as good as Moses’s, especially number 4.
And as far as idols, you’re right up there for me–I’m still wearing the same color lipstick you recommended to me 25 years ago.
xxx
p.s. Do you think Susan Masback thought she was a 10? I’d bet not–no female is so confident, especially an adolescent girl. And that hasn’t changed since your adolescence… eight decades later!
I might be willing to convert to Gingyism if I can keep Christmas and bacon. What are the requirements? Any strange rituals or clothing items? Do you serve as pope and magic oracle? Is it true that annual pilgrimages to Central Park are required?
Ilene, Another Seriously Perfect gem! Thank you, thank you, thank you again. I so love reading your writing. Love, Nancy