Before you become a doctor, you have to study.
Before you can drive a car, you have to take a test.
Before you become a concert pianist, you have to practice.
But…
Before you get married, you don’t have to study,
take a test,
or practice.
You just have to show up with a marriage license.
How come?
You need to renew a dog license,
a driver’s license,
a car registration,
a passport,
magazine and newspapers subscriptions,
but you don’t need to renew a marriage license.
How come?
You can get a warranty on a car,
on an appliance, computer, TV, VCR, cell phone,
ipad, ipod, and even on a hair dryer and an
electric toothbrush,
but you can’t get a warranty on a marriage.
How come?
You can take out insurance on your life,
your health,
your house,
your car,
your possessions,
and your business,
but you can’t take out insurance on a marriage.
How come?
To get a job. you usually need references–personal and
professional.
but you don’t need references to get married.
How come?
How does anyone know what to expect from a marriage
anyway? Expectations! Phooey!! Who do we look to for
role models? From movies? Netflik shows? Celebrities?
Disney? From our parents? They’ve probably been married
for many years. Do they still love each other? Respect each
other? Are they friends? Or are they indifferent, disillusioned,
angry, apart?
How will we know how to treat our partner?
There’s no instruction book that comes with a marriage license.
How come?
Anyone can get advice on relationships from therapists, psychologists,
philosophers, poets, preachers, teachers, Thoreau, Ann Landers, Abby
Landers, Dr. Ruth, Mr. Rogers, the Ethicist in the New York Times
Magazine, Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Phil, the Dalai Lama, mothers
and mother-in-laws, friends, or Matthew McConaughey’s new book
“Greenlights.”
Yet, there’s a divorce in the US. every 36 seconds—that’s nearly 2,400
divorces a day, 16,800 a week, and 875,000 a year.
How come?
Almost everything except marriage has changed since the 16th Century
when Montaigne said:
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
How come?
You’re just a button click away and I’d love to hear from you.
About your world, your family, your joys and frustrations, growing up, growing older, even recipes– even though I stopped cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns out as well as I hope (but doubt) mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
As always, I loved this entry! Somehow, without instructions and only having known each other for two weeks, we made it for 54 years at which point he had the nerve to die on me!
Sally Olds
Oh my Gingy! You just gave me quite the belly laugh. Each time you post, I fall in love with the content and it become such solid competition for the next post. But, this one was a solid solid post. you had me laughing from start to finish. But it all seriousness, this contact is so real and so True. I have never thought about marriage and some of the ways that you have brought up and that is quite an interesting discussion to be had. If you could just present me with my future husband and your approval, that would be a miracle for me. THANK YOU for this again, real, authentic, laughter that could cause me to pee, insightful, post. WOW, just WOW! You never fail to impress.
How Come….everything you say is so funny????!
Love you.❤️
And yet, I know many couples who have been happily, or contentedly, married for 60 plus years. It does seem like a miracle. It helps if you have been fortunate enough to have good health and financial security. That does not mean being “rich.” And the good luck to just know how to grow old together!
every month and you amaze GIngy
There may be a movement for the reconfigured marriage license
starting as i write this comment
Hi Gingy! I took a course in my freshman year of college called “Sexual Relationships in Early Marriage!” What? I was a virgin and it was a psychology course so I thought “why not?” Note the title says “relationships” like there were more than one? Anyway, my parents’ marriage and my first marriage gave me the checklist for what I had to avoid in my “real” marriage- the second one. We’re both patient and laugh A LOT. I can’t cook either, but he’s so appreciative when I try.
Love to you, C.
Not to veer off the subject but I think the guy you labeled as Ryan Reynolds is most likely Scarlett Johansson’s 2nd husband the French guy.
I’ve been married almost 49 years. The day we finally learned our daughter had autism we promised we were going to stick together. No running away if things got tough (they did). No blaming each other for being sad, mad, frustrated or frazzled (we were all of those things). We promised to give her and each other the best life we could (the jury is still out on that one). Simply put, I trusted the man I married on the day I married him and 49 years later I still do.
Hmm…I thought I wanted a boyfriend, but Cindy’s made me think twice.
I married for the first time when I was 40. My husband had been a high school classmate turned pharmacist. After three months of what seemed like a happy marriage, he said, “I’ve changed my mind.” I spent the next 20 years with no romance but lots of great adventures. In December 2009, my former college boyfriend encouraged me to e-mail his best friend from high school whose wife had recently died after a long bout with Huntington’s Disease. I sent a comforting e-mail with no hidden agendas. He called me several days later, and we talked for 3 hours that night and every night after that. He lived in Florida, and I lived in Virginia. We were married the next year and have spent 12 happy years without any major argumens or fights. The angels were looking out for us!
Gingy,
Once again, you’ve made me laugh out loud. Thank you. In my three marriages (7 years each), I learned to avoid
poor little rich boys with anger issues,
carpenters who smoke a joint at breakfast and have anger issues
controlling scientists who want to own me and have anger issues
Now, happily unmarried, I live in sin with my first boyfriend from fifth grade. We laugh a lot, rarely argue and are too old to get much excited over anything. The answer to the soup or sex question these days is definitely soup!
Cindy
Hey, isn’t that the fun of it?
The risk, the adventure, the mystery, the surprises, the daring, the anticipation, the danger, the thrill, the unknown, the never-a-dull-moment, the too-many dull-moments… and, finally, the acceptance??
(Maybe that’s How Come?)