Freud was always asking, “What do women want?”
He never found out.
He should have asked me. I know what women want.
They want accessories!
Freud didn’t know because men are lousy at accessories. They’re limited to a tie, a wallet, and a watch. If they’re daring, suspenders.
Women are accessory experts from head to toe, regardless of their race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, or class.
One’s skin color doesn’t determine one’s hat choice. Michelle Obama and Melania Trump might like the same hat.
Democrat and Republican women can both agree on the same pearls, regardless of their age, height, dress size, or beliefs about Roe vs. Wade.
Every woman, any woman, all women can choose any accessory, accessories being symbols of equality.
Best of all, buying an accessory doesn’t require a dressing room or full length or 3-way mirror that might show you too much of you. How wonderful!
But I’m not good with accessories. I can’t keep that scarf from falling off my shoulders. Same with shawls, stoles, or anything that doesn’t come with a button, snap, zipper, or Velcro.
On my first book tour I was invited on the TV show, Good Morning America. Joan Ludden was the host. No scarf wrapped around Joan’s shoulders would dare move.
I didn’t know what to wear on TV. A friend told me to wear a scarf. “Joan loves scarfs and she’ll love you,” she said. Another woman said, “Make sure to wear a pin. Joan wears pins. Wear a pin and she’ll love you.” Somebody else said, “Wear pearls. Joan always wears pearls.”
I wore a pin and a scarf and a pearl choker necklace. I don’t like to take chances.
My scarf kept falling off my shoulders. I forgot to close the safety catch and the pin opened and just hung there. The pearl choker was choking me. And nobody loved me. They loved Joan (and her pink floral Gucci scarf that never moved).
Never believe what most people tell you. Joan never wore a pin or pearls.
I’ve been thinking lately, with all the problems men in politics are causing, maybe if they spent more time accessorizing, they’d have less time to screw up everybody else’s life.
Dictionary definition: “Accessory: noun. a thing which can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.”
Isn’t that a wife?
BTW, make-up isn’t an accessory. It’s a necessity!
P.S. Even though I’m not good at accessories, I think I could get used to a diamond tiara.
You’re just a button click away and I’d love
to hear from you.
About your world, your family, your joys and frustrations, growing up, growing older, even recipes– even though I stopped cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns out
as well as I hope
(but doubt) mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
ilene,
I am a friend of Maggie Murphy’s and have met you and Stan a number of times. Four years ago, I moved to Florida to live with the boyfriend I had in fifth grade.
Maggie suggested I follow your blog. I look forward to reading your posts. I have a poetry blog. I love it that you didn’t start writing until age 60. I did the same sort of thing. There was little time for writing when I was a single parent working full time in corporate America.
All the best,
Cindy
Scarves. Yes, scarves. And if it’s to warm for a scarf, statement earrings work wonders—no one will ever notice your double chin.
When I lived in Paris, I learned about the power of accessories. No self respecting French woman ever sets foot outside the door without accessorizing. She may only own three outfits, but she’ll always look chic.
I have a lot of scarves but rarely even try to wear them. However jewelry, especially sparkly jewelry, l wear layers – the more the better!! It’s all about the accessories. You hit it spot on!
When I dress in the morning I always put on earrings. It is just part of my clothes I
Wear each day. Forget the scarf ,I try pining it to my clothes
it always moves around and is an annoyance.
Great post Gingy! We all need to accessorize.
Gingy….love LOVE love your blogs! You are soooooo very funny! I am somewhat nervous today…big welcoming open house for our new year with the Flemington Woman’s Club at Noon. I am the current VP. They adored your recent presentation, as you know. AND…I believe they all also adore accessories! I am like you though…cannot wear chokes as thgey actually do feel like I am getting choked and pins enjoy picking me and scarves…..well just forget it, cannot get the hang of them! Please keep your blog coming…they are a breath of fresh air, with giggles here and there and everywhere!
Girls, women, ladies, whoever…
Your comments knock me out. I wish I could answer individually but this computer program doesn’t let me. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Yu inspire me. Gingy
Girls. women, ladies, whoever…
Your comments knock me out. I wish I could answer individually but this computer program doesn’t let me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You inspire me. Gingy
I keep thinking your last submission your best “Real LIfe”, but they keep getting better.
This one , perfect!!!
Let’s get the presidential nominees to solve cuff links ,ties and jackets.
We women will take care of the rest.
Oh how timely! Oh how needed! Why do so many people believe what Freud said or thought? It was all guess-work, not founded on anything resembling a scientific study because it’s really hard to make a scientific study about feelings and emotional states and dream. Maybe impossible. So he just sounded important — and people believed him! Freud didn’t really know anything about women. Penis envy? are you kidding? On the other hand, he had one especially good trait which other people followed up on, he LISTENED to women. He was willing to listen to them, and try to help people in trouble. His explanations, and even his treatments were weird, and he actually once confessed that he had never cured anyone. But at least he took women’s trouble seriously.
I sympathize about the scarves that don’t stay put. I can’t use them either. They swallow up my neck, and slip off and just make me look messy. I did once learn that there were gadgets you could buy in what used to be the Notions Department in a good department store (gone forever, alas), a gadget that secured your scarf under your blouse and somehow hitched it to your underpants. That’s the only way I could ever keep a neat scarf on me . . . how do those Englishmen keep their scarves so nattily under their shirts or jackets? Maybe the butler sews them onto their vests (i.e. undershirts) every morning.
But not all is lost — yet. Our Grandsons came to visit us here in the country a few weeks ago, and THEY WANT TO COME AGAIN! Of course it’s not the grown children who want to come — but they are willing to drop the young ones off for a few days.
Pearls always look good- especially with matching pearl earrings.
Scarfs never did it for me- they always fall off or choke me,and I am unattractive when I choke. And what happened to gloves and matching handbags and shoes? The 50’s were not that long ago!
Now anything goes!
I LOVE IT……..I consider the fact that you can point your toes an accessory in the normal persons life. I LOVE YOU
Do women need accessories? Absolutely!! When I watch a news commentator, I’m always thinking, “Wouldn’t a scarf or some pearls look nice on her? She really needs help because her hair looks like a cotton shirt that was washed, hung out to dry, and not ironed!”
This month’s blog, Gingy, made me think of Chaucer’s “The Wife of Bath’s Tale”. Her main point in her prologue and in her tale is to explain the thing women most desire: complete control over men! TWOB’s most noticeable accessories: her fine-textured handkerchiefs, her large hips, and her gap-teeth. In the middle ages, the gap between the front teeth, especially in women, was associated with lustful characteristics. Thus, the implication in describing “the gap-toothed wife of Bath” is that she is a middle-aged woman with insatiable lust.
Ilene,
Love this. Love the pictures. The pearls, the scarf, and the pin–you presented that so well. I laughed as usual upon reading your work. Thank you!
XXX
nancy