Request…
Look in a mirror at just your face.
Either first thing when you wake up—or if you’re like me, you can wait until after you recreate your face with an assortment of overpriced stuff.
I can’t look in the mirror before I put make-up on.
It’s too scary.
I use:
Black Maybelline washable mascara in the pink thing…
black Kohl eyeliner…
and Mac Verve lipstick.
I never use foundation—gets in the wrinkles.
I never use blush. Everybodies doing everything these days so there’s nothing to blush about.
It only takes me five minutes to transform myself from being a before to an after. Somedays, no matter what I do, I always look like a before.
Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
What’s the first thing you would say to describe yourself.
Would you give your name?
Or say I’m a woman or I’m a mother, I’m a wife, or I’m a grandmother?
Would you say you were gay?
Would you say you were bi-polar?
Would you say you have cancer?
Would you say you were divorced?
Would you say you needed to lose 5 pounds, or ten, or twenty?
Would you admit your age or just say you’re old?
Would you say you were Jewish or Christian or an Objectivist because you just read Any Rand?
Or state your occupation: I’m a teacher or I’m a nurse or I’m a hooker?
Would you describe your mood–I’m happy or I’m tired?
Or when you saw your reflection would you say I ate too much or I drank too much?
At different times in my life, I would have given different answers.
When I was younger, I would have said “I’m Gingy.” That’s the nick name my family always called me. I was born with ginger colored hair. I’ve dyed it every color since.
But in school, I would have said “I’m Ilene,” my real name. I was named after some old man whose name started with “I” but nobody knows who.
When I was married and after I had children, I disappeared as Gingy and Ilene and became who I was attached to.
When I was married, I would have said
“I’m Harry’s wife”
or
“I’m Al’s wife”
or
“I’m Stanley’s wife”.
depending on who I was married to at the time.
When I had children, I would have said
“I’m Isabelle’s mother”
or
“I’m David’s mother”
or
“I’m Lillie’s mother”
or
“I’m Michael’s mother”
or
“I’m Joseph’s mother”
or
“I’m Julie’s mother”
depending on who was asking.
I’m not sure how I’d describe myself these days. I no longer have to take my identity from being the refection of someone else. It’s taken me a lifetime to realize that.
In September I went to a birthday party for my older sister (5 years older) and her husband. She’s now 88 and he’s 90.
She’s had many names, too. Born Blossom (she was born in the Flower Hospital in NY), nicknamed by the family Tootsie, renamed Bonnie by her husband.
I wonder who my sister sees when she looks in a mirror now? Blossom? Tootsie? Bonnie?
She’s not Blossom, the first grandchild. The smart child.
She’s not Tootsie, the beautiful curvaceous girl with the blonde hair that fell over her eye just like Lauren Bacall.
She’s not Bonnie, the girl with the pale blue eyes and Revlon Fire and Ice red lipstick that matched the nail polish on her long nails.
She’s no longer the glamorous sister I always wanted to be.
Does she see Blossom, Tootsie, or Bonnie in her mirror? When I look at her, when I become her mirror, I’d just see my sister who I love.
Who do you see in your mirror?
You’re just a button click away–and I’d love to hear from you.
About your world, your family, your joys and frustrations,
growing up, growing older, even recipes– even though I stopped cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns out as well as I hope
(but doubt) mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
Hi Ilene –
When I look in the mirror, I see an older version of that 39 year old me, whom I consider to be my best me. I don’t look so closely as I used to – because 39 was 19 years ago. During that 19 year time, I married, and he cheated four times. I had cancer twice. Simply facts. No whining. Perhaps those things cause a bit of character to appear one’s face. Looking too close would cause me to evaluate everything too closely. I’d rather not. I’ve moved on.
I wear little make up – Mascara, blush and lipstick. The point of any makeup at all being, I want to simply enhance the good things that remain. And there are some. I have great eyes, high cheek bones, and facial lines with character and definition that any marionette could envy.
A girlfriend says “I can’t tell if you are wearing makeup or not.” It seems to be the same. Just me.
Me. Filled with courage, strength, and sass.
G,
I hope your dressing up on Halloween.
Yes I’ll use the mirror to see if I get my beehive wig on straight and might use some
Makeup a little. This is a day to just have fun. So many things that are sad in this violent time we live in. But dressing up and making someone smile and enjoying
The day holding onto freedom and goodness and scaring the evil away.
Believe in a peaceful and respectable and more loving place and it will be.
Be safe and hold your love ones tight.
Love you,
Ar
Hi Gingy, Love this blog! Love the look you’ve created for yourself! I recognized you from the back at Lincoln Center a few months ago! You are unique! And gorgeous. You were probably always a beauty, with style.
I feel like I am also recognizable, only because of my height, 5’11”. I never felt pretty, always wanted to be. Teresa Brewer, opposite to me in every way, was my ideal. I had a nose job and a facelift in my quest. I dye my hair blonde, that’s my only nod to beauty today. Oh, and constant dieting. No makeup, except for very special occasions. My eyes are red and rheumy, makeup wouldn’t work on them. I mostly only wear black.
When I look in the mirror I see myself finally centered and accepting of all my roles and ok with my look. But I also see fear. Fear for the future for my grandkids and fear for my health. Grateful to have a satisfying job, a loving partner, a fun lifestyle, my health for the moment. But still it’s a reach to ignore the news and try for optimism. XX
I’ve tried never to think about it. Lucky me, I’m more or less content with my face and what it tells me. The one time I remember spending too much time in front of a full-length mirror, posing and arguing with my sister at the same time, she finally threw a shoe at me and broke the mirror in half as I scooted aside. We had a fun house mirror from them on. Is there a moral there? Now I use light from the fluorescent overhead whenever I have to look in the mirror, like to make sure I’ve brushed every tooth enough. I can just barely see to put on some eyeshadow, brush my eyebrows, mascara and use foundation to make my nose less red, but can’t see the wrinkles – so good.
I see me, Dora. Years ago I posed in front of the mirror and thought that was me. But now that I know who I am I see me-combined- all of the poses that I posed and all of the titles I had, I still am all of them. They are all me, Dora. And the Dora that I am still loves you!
Girls,
You knock me out with your comments.
If only everybody else in the world was like
all of us, what a more wonderful world it
would be.
xo to all.
Hi Gingy #1!!
This is Gingy from North Carolina!! I love you and your blog so I can keep in touch with you!! As you know my Book Club is reading Love, Loss and What I Wore for our November Book Club. I have asked everyone to bring a sketch of their most memorable outfit and the story behind it. I will be very excited to share the stories with you and we plan a group photo to send to you!!
Now onto the Mirror Mirror Blog…. I have really thought about my response these last several days and I have thought of my response as I look in the mirror tonight.
Encounters with the mirror is brief…..only to apply moisturizer, apply makeup or to take it off. I am in my 60’s but my mind tells me otherwise and I act and maneuver throughout the day as a woman much younger, energized and full of life. My mind says Girl you have only just begun and your children, grandchildren and husband need you to be healthy and well and of good cheer.
Yes, there are sags, bags, lines and much more but I am grateful for the face I have and the embedded lines from smiling and loving the joys of life. I agree with you that I am a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend, a mother , a grandmother, a mentor, and many other roles that are worthy to mention and encouraging to others but we need not take ourselves too seriously. Life is simple, pure and sincere and not meant to be taken too jumbled and complex.
Treasure the inner spirit for this is who and what we are. It is this spirit that will live on and never die. It is not our flesh or the hundreds of dollars spent on our face in the mirror (although it is very important to make that facial appointments
regularly!) , but I do believe that we can mix reality and fantasy to keep things alive!!
So to part….YOU are a tremendous mentor in my life!! Ever since I had the experience of playing Gingy in our local production and actually spending the day with you and Stanley you have always encouraged women to write.
Write your stories for your children and grandchildren so they will know the true you …..the good, the difficult , the triumphs, the losses, the rebuilding.
The strength to look in the mirror and say “You are doing OK!”
LOVE you and save some for Stanley!
Xoxo Holly Gingy NC
,
Hmm. When I look in the mirror (even before putting on any bit of make-up) I kind of like what I see. Of course, I look older. Well I AM older, so no surprise there. I don’t wear much makeup, too much trouble. When I do, I hope no one notices . . . just enough so that my eyes don’t disappear. Unless it’s the middle of a dismal winter, and then a little bit of color on the cheeks so I still look alive.
In CA this past weekend, babysitting for my two little grandchildren, I felt like ‘Grandma.’ A lucky, blessed, tired grandma who wore stretch pants with stains to cook and a Speedo in the pool when I swam with my 6-year-old grandson. I bought a lipstick there at CVS, put it on, and asked him how I looked, he said “Like a little old grandma wearing lipstick.” I know he loves me. I know his almost 3-year-old sister does, too. She got very attached to me on this trip and wanted to be next to or near me. My attachments to them, to their mother, my daughter, and my husband make me feel lucky and loved. I’m back home, writing and teaching. Playing with silly putty and reading picture books? Was I just doing those? Last night, I taught my advanced, private class. Some members have been with me for 11 years. I feel alive, useful, and challenged. And oh so blessed! LOVING my work and family is making me feel groovy right now, but to go to the gym, where I am headed, I’m putting on a little lipstick and eyeliner. At home, I don’t think I look ‘like a little old grandma wearing lipstick.” I look like a short, older than springtime woman. But the face in the mirror, while not classically beautiful (at 71, I still hear my long-deceased parents reminding me of that) , is mine.
reading your blog encouraged me, noooooookind of forced me to actually look in the mirror and see who I am now….thanks Gingy
G,
I avoid the mirror unless I’m going out in public.
Have a wonderful Fall and don’t forget to stuff your face with handmade
Pumpkin pie and apple pie out of the oven. I’m enjoying as a snack crisp sliced apples with almond butter a healthy snack anytime. Try it.
Looking forward to family coming for a visit this month.
Choosing what I’ll be for Halloween and start to make it.
I’m enjoying the sunflowers I planted in the summer, they all bloomed at once.
I’m enjoying each day..and you do the same.
Stay well,
Ar
Oh, and did you know L’Oreal now has Deep Burgundy mascara? Perfect with your hair!
Hey Ilene, love, love, love this one. So evocative of the chameleon-life we all seem to live. I used to think it was a woman-thing, but I think it is a condition that affects everyone to some degree…just ‘mostly’ women. I’m finally reaching the age where I’m learning not to care anymore about who I ‘should’ be today to please whomever it is I’m supposed to be pleasing. They better get used to ME (whomever that may be…and that may change whenever, and because, I choose to change is just fine!).
I only use the our bathroom mirror. The lighting is just right!!!!
Fun to read and thought provoking. I think my seniors will enjoy it.
I never know what to write after reading Gingy’s blog. I know I can never be as clever and funny as she is. I know I can never illustrate as she does. All I know is that we are both getting old…..older? When I see Gingy and our other college friends all I see is what we were when we were 18. Much better!!!!!
All things considered, we have all done OK and we are all beautiful. Growing older gracefully is our new adventure.
Hi! You will always be Mrs. Beckerman to me because as Isabelle’s friend growing up I spent more time at your house than I did at mine! Thank you for always having broccoli for me to eat and letting us be creative with all the art supplies in the house. My maiden name was Facchiano and I think about Isabelle often and miss her much.
Wow, What a blog! I’m thinking, I’m thinking! I am glad when I wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror, deny that I have wrinkles and bags under my eyes, and get ready to go to the gym or take a long walk. During my exercise, I think my thoughts and mumble to myself. I am happy if everyone in my life is well. I have learned how fragile life is. My family and friends, like you, make my life worthwhile!
I never thought that I was attractive, so when I looked in a mirror at any time of day, I saw a face without any characteristics. I never dated much once I finished high school – only a bit during college. I was married for a short time when I was 40 and then met an amazing man when I was 60. He began telling me how beautiful my eyes (hazel), hair (auburn – no coloring used), and skin (fair – never really stayed out in the sun) are, and after 8 years of marriage, he keeps telling me the same thing. As long as he sees me this way, I can look in a mirror and view a real person. I know I am the luckiest woman in the world. (Also – a message to comments #1 & #2 (gay) – Sour cream topped with dark brown sugar tastes wonderful on strawberries. I saw this done about 35 years ago on, of all things, a soap opera, and it’s truly delicious.)
Howdy Doody Gingy, I thought of you as Ilene for many years because of your book Love, Loss and What I Wore. I gave it to my sister first because of the lady with the rolled down hose. Our grandmother did that. It was sold at the fanciest clothes store in Gilroy, CA. When I look in the mirror I smile because that is my instant facelift. I have lots of wrinkles now and they look better aligned in a U-shape. I have lots of positive things stuck on my bathroom mirror and they help me smile too. One is from a book I read this year – Seeking Enlightenment Hat by Hat by Nevada Barr. It starts out “Hello Gorgeous!” Another one is from a Tom Hanks book that has TYPE in the title. It says “How-dee-doodly-day.” Nowadays I call you Gingy because it is such a cute name, it’s what I see most in your lovely blog and I am lucky enough to have 2 ginger-haired grandsons (thanks to my ginger son-in-law). My granddaughter is a gorgeous blonde, thanks to my daughter. My daughter had picked out a redhead name for her (Amber) and stuck with it. Maybe she’ll experiment with being a redhead later.
Yes people call u Gingy and Ilene. Most times I call u Bubbie you are a great friend and mentor. Thank you always you r the best.
great surprisingly good dessert ./.no work large green grapes they need to be firm and very cold.
on top of sour cream and with dark brown sugar on top of that,,do not stir or mix up..you will be surprised.. people who do not like any of the ingredients sometimes like it a lot…\
I had it around 65 years ago at a millionaires home and never forgot it.
i hardly ever look in the mirror and when I do I’m usually surprised to find that i need to comb my hair and wash my face. I did not have a mirror in my room growing up and so i don’t think,. sometimes i look in a store window and think I’m a bag lady….I tell a story of going into a starbuck and looking into what i thought was a mirror and thinking Wow i look better than I have in years, i look great and then when i continued into the store i realized “I don’t have brown hair anymore”
and I saw that i was looking at a girl that look sort of like me when i was young,, it was not my reflection it was a person..
You didn’t say you were harris’s wife i don’t think ..I remember you saying once, when i said Harry to you about him and you said I just call him “my friend” I don’t understand the name “Harry” but that was when you first ot married.
Hi Ilene,
I love the blog. The cartoon at the end says it all for Mike and me.
Just so you know, you have a couple of misspelled words.
Kathy
And you will always be Ilene to me…the stylish, creative, funny lady that I loved being around!