Dear Santa,
I don’t want anything.
After 87 years of accumulating stuff, I have too much
of everything.  My family doesn’t want anything I have.
I’ll pack some stuff up and you can put it down
somebody else’s chimney. Merry Christmas.
Gingy

Dear Queen Elizabeth,
I’m sorry you won’t be here this Christmas.
I read that 3 of your 4 children got divorced.
I just wanted you to know I think it’s harder to
be a mother than a Queen.
Condolences,
Gingy

To my Adult Children,
I know you all get together and make lists of things
from your childhood that you think I shouldn’t have
done. And lists of things I didn’t do that you think I
should have done. You were all so cute when you
were little. Then you grew up.
Mom

Dear Adult Grandchildren,
Being the children of my children, how come you
turned out so good?
Love,
Grandma Gingy

Dear Eartha Kitt,
“Santa Baby”— I sang it to my husband several times:

“Think of all the fun I’ve missed.
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed.
Next year I could be just as good
If you’ll check off my Christmas list”

He reminded me we don’t celebrate Christmas.
Can you sing another version and substitute Hanukah
for Christmas??
Gingy—an Admirer

To Steve Madden—Trendy Shoes,
I ordered your Drex Red Multi Sneakers, size 10
in October and STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN THEM. I
want to wear them on Christmas Eve with cute
knee socks with reindeer on them I bought at Amazon.
You better send them in a hurry. This is your last
chance to keep me as a customer.
Gingy—a Warning

Dear President Biden,
I think you’re nuts to want to be President.
You and Jill would be a lot happier on a cruise.
Gingy– a U.S. Citizen

To the Democratic Party,
Please stop sending me daily emails that I
must send you $3 or $5 to save Democracy.
I am not even going to give money to PBS
during Pledge Week even though I listen to
their programs every day on the radio. Watch
out! The Republicans never ask me for money!
From Gingy–a Voter

To My Garbage Collection Person,
Why are you raising my monthly garbage bill.
Especially at Christmas time? Don’t you want a
nice Christmas tip? I am 87, my husband is 88.
We don’t have much garbage. He doesn’t like
waste so we hardly ever throw out. I still have
4 slices of liverwurst from before Covid, some
left-over Chinese from three weeks ago, and
yogurt so old the mold is turning into penicillin.
If you don’t believe me, come smell my refrigerator.
From Gingy—your Old Customer

Dear Irving Berlin,
WOW! You wrote “White Christmas” and 799 other
songs. WOW—no one would ever guess from looking
at you—sorry but you look like a weasel. It’s really true
to never judge a book by its cover.  So how come men
always judge a women by what she looks like?
Gingy–an Admirer

Dear Nat “King”Cole,
You’re right up there with Sinatra in my book.
Everybody sings your Christmas Song: Chestnuts
roasting on an open fire. Remember when you sang
the song: “Too Young” to really be in love? Well
I was too young but I was really in love. But then
we broke up but it wasn’t your fault.
Wish you were here.
Gingy—a Fan

To Whom It May Concern,
Well, I made it to another Christmas—that makes
87 Christmases in all. I don’t know if I’m still here
thanks to you or just luck. Not even sure about
that luck thing. It’s strange to see how the world
has changed and see what happens to one’s family,
friends, and one’s own self. Maybe I’ll be in touch
next Christmas—maybe not. Whatever. Anyway,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.
Gingy

---

---