Allie, my granddaughter, is the Bride.
Joe, a grand guy, is the Groom.
They got married in June.
A few years ago I wrote a play called
“Mom, It’s My Wedding!”
Enough said.
Here’s a few lines from the play.
“Planning a wedding, I discovered, is similar to producing
a show at a dinner theater in New Jersey. Both events
have a script, stars, a supporting cast, and a budget
that’s too small. Both have critics to please.”
My granddaughter’s wedding wasn’t like producing a show
at a dinner theater in New Jersey, even though it took place
in New Jersey. It was a small family event
My granddaughter didn’t have to starve herself for weeks
before the wedding so she could fit into her wedding dress.
She could eat things that tasted good.
Her wedding dress didn’t billow out like an open parachute
like Cinderella’s. Nor was it something Kim Kardashian would
wear showing off the boobs and butt the groom would be
sleeping with that night (as if it actually were “The First Time”).
Unimportant things didn’t become important. She didn’t care
if the invitations were in blue or black ink, if the postage
stamps were love birds or hearts, how the napkins were
folded. She didn’t care if the tablecloths matched the
bridesmaids’ dresses. The only things that matched were
the bride and groom.
What in the world has happened to getting married? When
did the wedding hoopla become more important than the
exchange of vows and the joining of two people’s lives?
Why is planning the wedding so stressful? Why does it take
a year? Why does it cost so much?
Will the next big thing in weddings be like the Triumphal March
in Aida ending with a parade of exotic animals, including elephants, giraffes, and zebras?
What about the horror of looking for a mother-of-the-bride
dress? I’m not even going to go there.
And what about the guests? Who to invite and who not to
invite? What table to sit them at? Planning where The Apostles
at The Last Supper were to sit was easier.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the relatives were happy to see
each other? If everyone was thrilled by the table they sat at?
If new wives and ex-wives got along.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the chicken wasn’t undercooked,
the salmon overcooked, and the meat dish unidentifiable.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Great Grandma didn’t complain
that the music was blasting so loudly it hurt her ears, her
eyes, and her feet and she had to go home?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Grandma wanted to rumba but
Grandpa, after five shots of scotch, wasn’t snoring at a
table in the corner?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the mother-of-the-bride’s makeup
didn’t fade and she looked like she usually did?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the bride’s father, seeing all
the leftover food and half-full liquor glasses left on
the tables wondered why he was paying for it all?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the older cousins weren’t on
their i-Phones or outside smoking who knows what?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the younger cousins weren’t
running around wildly tasting almost empty wine glasses,
screaming and throwing the table decorations?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if a 2-year-old wasn’t having a
tantrum and a 4-year- old wasn’t throwing up?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if didn’t rain at a beach wedding
in June or a blizzard wasn’t forecast for a December wedding?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if an uninvited guest like Covid didn’t
show up?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all the wedding gifts were cash and
not things like pickle forks?
But what would happen to the economy if nobody supported
a wedding industry that generates sixty billion dollars a year?
The honeymoon, which is estimated at between four and
eight billion, is extra.
My granddaughter’s wedding won’t make the Vows Section
of Sunday’s New York Times. But Allie and Joe’s wedding
vows will make for a lifetime of caring for each other and the
people they love.
If everyone in the world were like my granddaughter Allie
and my new son-in-law Joe, what a wonderful world it
would be.
P.S.
Allie and Joe are planning on a Big Blast Party for all their
friends in 2023, hopefully when the pandemic has really slowed
down. A party for everyone to dance, sing, have fun, and
celebrate anything and everything, including the bride and
groom.
You’re just a button click away and I’d love to hear from you.
About your world, your family,
your joys and frustrations,
growing up, growing older,
even recipes–
even though I stopped
cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns out as well as I hope (but doubt)
mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
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Hi I.B.
It’s not often that I find myself at a loss for words but the picture of Allie and Joe left me temporarily speechless. They are a lovely couple. Allie is beautiful and could rival any high society bride in The New York Times any day. I see a bit of you shining through in her beautiful face and I bet there is a feisty personality to go along with it. Her essence was captured in her simple but elegant gown and a smiling face framed by windswept hair. What a beautiful young woman. I know how much you love your granddaughters and I know how important you all are to each other. Good health and happiness always.
Love,
Joyce
Mazel tov Gingy! I am thrilled for Allie & Joe, and love your blog post, per usual. 🙂
I got married in temple with my longtime rabbi officiating. No congregation present, just immediate family. I was 4 months pregnant. I wore a blue shirtwaist. We had two parties, one at my parents, one at his. My mother-in-law told everyone she was going to be a grandma. Oh well. Had 3 kids and divorced.
Congrats on your beautiful granddaughter. She’s lucky to have you!!
Charming photo…and I love your comic voice. Congratulations all around.
Ilene,
HUGE Mazel Tov! Allie is beautiful. Allie and Joe are beautiful couple.
Your blog, as always, is totally terrific. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
“The only things that matched were
the bride and groom.” Love that line.
Love, Nancy
It’s hard to express the delight I feel each time I hear your blog is up. You never fail to make me smile, sometimes guffaw! Your granddaughter’s wedding sounds perfect. After three marriages each, my partner, John and I decided to skip getting married. Too stressful. We are happily living in sin.
I too am baffled by the extravaganzas now called weddings. I am as dismayed by the huge expense these days as I was by the pickle forks of yore. I don’t like fuss, being an introvert, so a large wedding is my worst dream come true, a cocktail party on steroids. They were easier when I was still drinking but not much.
I carried around a big teddy bear in the weeks before my third wedding. We take comfort where we can.
Love you.
i am enamored of Allie and Joe..
wouldn’t it be wonderful if all brides were as wonder human beings as Allie.
The magnificent picture that seems to talk,,, of Allie and Joe makes me feel hope and elated..
Love the nuzzling photo–delicious.
Wishing such happiness for them.
The simple celebrations that you propose would make sense, but the
wedding-industrial-complex will continue to encourage the excesses.
Oh well, too bad you’re not in charge of more of life, Gingy.
Wry and witty as always…am I the only reader who heard ‘Imagine’ in the background?
Wry and witty as always…am I the only reader who heard John Lennon singing ‘Imagine’ in the background?
Oh yes, I remember all too well all the mishegosh about weddings and WHY not just go to town hall and/or elope? I gave done both, plus getting the town mayor to do a ceremony. The marriage with a grandious party and a banquet hall filled with whoever came was exorbitantly expensive and ended in divorce, while the tiwn hall and mayor ones went strong for many years.
Great blog Gingy! You wit is much appreciated…and so true! Congrats to the lovely couple.
Loved this. Yes, weddings these days, are a big production. So are graduations from pre-school. Oy. Your granddaughter and her hubby look happy, and that should be the priority. Our wedding did make the Vows section of the NYT, but only because I proposed (no pun) they cover the woman who wrote The Joy of Being Single’s nuptials. LOL. I hope they have a long and loving marriage.
It appears that the newly weds have their act together Congrats to the parents who let them have it the way tey wanted
Ginny, as always that was great. you hit upon so my truths. Wishing Allie & Joe a lifetime of happiness.
All the best,
Terry
Ginny, I laughed and cried over this blog. Allie sounds like a wonderful young woman. I wish Allie and Joe every happiness! Congratulations to you! Love, Phyllis
Best wishes to Allie and Joe! She looks beautiful and just like Isabelle. Congratulations to all!!
Best wishes to Allie and Joe! She is beautiful and looks so much like Isabelle. Congratulations to all!!!
Congratulations to the happy couple! Wishing them a lifetime of love, health, and happiness!
The photo of Allie & Joe says it all. Happiness. May they have many blessed years together.
Having wrangled the wedding of a daughter which included a grumpy grandfather who didn’t pay for his own daughter’s (me) wedding; assorted divorced-remarried couples including the groom’s parents and the grumpy grandfather among others; a couple of narcissists; guests who said yes to the invitation but failed to attend; feral children running amok, and the mother-of-the-bride giving an Academy Award worthy performance of graciousness when she really wanted to smack people, especially His Grumpiness.
As always, I loved your blog and I hope the newlyweds (and their grandmother) will be very happy! Love, Sally
Hi Gingy! People with lovely, ordinary lives attempt to plan weddings that only Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr., could successfully orchestrate, and before the affair is finished, there are hurt feelings accompanied by exhaustion. I don’t understand the need to produce a spectacle because those who love the bride, the groom, and their families don’t need their affection reinforced by a huge, outrageously expensive nuptial. Best wishes to Allie and Joe!