When I was growing up in the 50s, a normal family was
Bob, the breadwinner and Jane, the homemaker. Bob and
Jane stayed married forever. They had two children–
Bob Jr. and Polly–and lived in a house in the country
with a white picket fence and an apple tree. They had a
dog named Buddy and drove a Ford station wagon.
They were a White family.
In those days, I lived with my grandparents who silently
hated each other. Our Manhattan apartment was over
their stationery store. No white picket fence outside,
only concrete sidewalks. No apple trees, only Madison
Avenue buses. No dog, only cockroaches.
Even though I was White, how could I be normal?
When Bill Cosby’s show “The Huxtables” was on the air,
they were just like a normal family—a White family!
What brilliant person thought you had to live like a White
family to be normal?
“What you think is normal can make you blind to other
people’s real lives.” I read that. Wish I said it.
I was thinking about the word normal one day when I
decided to think.
My temperature is normal, my blood pressure is normal
(if I stay away from certain family members), and a
therapist once told me I was normal—at least I was at
that time. But I don’t understand what normal means
anymore outside of medical stuff.
It’s a good thing Bob and Jane and their kids have been
replaced by TV’s “Modern Family”—straight, gay, multicultural, same sex parents, 2nd marriage, older husband/younger wife, etc. Seems a little like my family. Now even I can feel normal.
A lot of other people can, too.
Coo coo isn’t the alternative to normal.
Words that I once normally used, are gone: falsies,
sanitary belt, necking. New words appeared: tumblr,
flickr, yelp, snapfish. Not only can’t I spell them, I have
no idea what they mean.
Kid used to be called Mary, Linda, and Patricia. Or James,
Michael, and Robert. That was normal.
Nobody’s going to name their kid Corona. But Apple,
Blue Ivy, Moon Unit, North West, Fuchsia are normal
names now?
Flappers flat chests didn’t flap around but were once
considered normal. Then Lana Turner walked into
Schwab’s drug store wearing a sweater.
I still remember being 14 and reciting
“I must.
I must.
I must increase my bust”
as I tried to touch my elbows in back. Now as a 42 C,
I wish I hadn’t tried so hard.
The idea that “Father Knows Best” was once normal.
But everybody knows who knows best in the family today.
What’s normal?
Twiggy’s figure?
Mae West’s?
Mine?
Yours?
Do I really care?
Do you?
Being normal can be very limiting.
Nobody’s normal like anybody else. Everybody’s
different and has secrets in their heads, their hearts,
and in their closets.
If you ever think you’re not normal because you’re a little
different, a little odd, a little quirky—stop right now and
shout HOORAY!
And start enjoying every different and weird thing about
yourself. Who wants to be just like everybody else anyway?
After all, everything in 2020 is post normal.
Okay, Beckerman, enough lecturing—
we’re not your grandkids!
You’re just a button click away and I’d love
to hear from you.
About your world, your family, your joys and frustrations, growing up, growing older, even recipes– even though I stopped cooking–by request–years ago.
Goodbye until next time…
Hope your day turns outas well as I hope
(but doubt) mine will,
Gingy (Ilene)
SO enjoyed! Thank you for always being fun, funny, and smart.
Leave it to you, Gingy dear, to bring your fresh perspective to us, to sort through the abundance of opinions about Life now, and lay it on the table in front of us.
Mrs. Huxtable lost her innocence and the rest of us are losing ours now, too.
I’m excited to look at the world much more clearly and excited to see how it will look going forward when there’s more humanity, more acceptance, more empathy, more generosity….if we’re lucky and if we all do our part. xxx to you.
posted here and it didn’t show up, tried to post it again, said I already posted it. The new normal.
Oh you are very funny, Gingy. Thank you for this. You make me realize how lucky I was growing up in my family – being Normal was never anyone’s goal. Nor was being Not Normal. Being the best you have in you was the un-stated, omnipresent goal. Of course I was never normal, even if I wanted to be, — an identical twin, both of us more than averagely talented at the piano, played a duet for the Mayor of NYC at age four, — I did want to go to a high school like everyone else in the neighborhood rather than to Music & Art HS, but my mother convinced me to take the test. I did, I was admitted, I still wanted to go to the local high school, and my smart mother said “Just go and see what it’s like”. One foot over the threshold and I fell in love. there was an entire population of interesting kids unconcerned about being normal, but concerned about being good artists, or violinists, or pianists or some other professional goal. To this day it remains one of the outstanding periods of my life, and everyone I meet who attended that school feels the same way. I still meet old classmates in the most diverse places in this country and others. The other thing I loved about M&A was that we, the only students in all of the NYC schools, were allowed to wear Jeans to school! because of the art students, who might get paint or clay on their clothes — and you couldn’t let only some students wear Jeans. First day of school each year, meant a nice shiny pair of jeans. Of course that was a Normal of sorts . . .
But I agree entirely with Gingy. Turn your back on being normal as a goal. Be what interests you!
Please, please stop the overuse of the term “new normal”.
I never thought about what was normal in my whole life. In first grade I knew my family was not the family in the Dick and Jane books. I just thought everyone was just like us. I personally never cared about being “normal”. I was me!! I still feel that way. I don’t care about what other people think about me. I live my life the way I want to live it…. and my husband is the same way. Not traditional.
I am your most devoted Republican fan. And I am not a robot.
Thank you Ilene! Love this! Hope you are well.
🙂
Today I feel lucky not to be normal. In the US, 51 million plus people are unemployed since the pandemic started. 5 and a half million people have been infected or died. Their normal changed in a minute. Their whole lives turned upside down. I am so grateful for my nice life. Don’t mind not going out of the house. Glad not to be normal in these horrible times. The new normal. Thanks for making me think. I was 5’11” since I was 13. Always felt like a freak. Always addicted to those shows that made us feel less than. You rule. Love you. Miss you.
I love reading your blog posts, Gingy! They’re such a treat. You always find a way to blend your life and your influences with our present day culture. You have such a unique and entertaining perspective on modern day living. I can’t wait for the next installment!
Normal is all relative. This was a very relatable piece that you wrote. I tell people all the time, if we were all the same, i.e. somebody’s definition of normal, we would live in a very boring world. I love my eclectic group of people in my life. Never a dull moment!
normal now is waiting for tech support ,,,,
normal now is being annoyed by countless things the younger generation takes for granted.
Then I realized that each generation has the things it tolerates.
Young people think a lot of things are normal that I find intolerable.
THEN I THOUGHT,
My generation thought nothing of gettin up off the couch to change the channel.Imagine the younger generations reaction to that!!!!!
I thought the younger generation is so full of themselves they photo shop their selfies so that they look better, or think they look better.,
THEN I THOUGHT
well my generation went to have portrait done and low and behold when I look at pictures of my Armenian family all our noses have been straightened..
the photographer touched up the picture. love to you Gay
I was just wondering about uou a couple of hours ago, at the end of yet another sleepless night. So glad you are still among us and lending your words to the cause of Life. ❤️
Grateful that I am not normal…it’s too late in my life to even try…which makes me very, very happy. And I don’t care if anyone else is either. Also happy if they are not which makes me most comfortable to be in their company. The striving to be normal whatever that is or was has lost all appeal. Not only am I happier but also healthier. Honesty is power and you are very powerful and always interesting. Thank you for your presentations of anything…I love seeing how you pull it all together. Love getting your stuff. Barbara
Trial comment
This is a really thoughtful and serious blog this month
Nothing is normal.
this is a test
hi
WOW! Your blogs always blow me away. This one was so real and so relatable. I love the humor as well. I thoroughly look forward to your posts each month. Thanks for bringing such truth and joy and pure entertainment during this time. You have a true gift and talent which I aspire greatly. I cannot wait for next month to see what amazing topic you will cook up!
WOW! Your blogs always blow me away. This one was so real and so relatable. I love the humor as well. I thoroughly look forward to your posts each month. Thanks for bringing such truth and joy and pure entertainment during this time. You have a true gift and talent which I aspire greatly. I cannot wait for next month to see what amazing topic you will cook up!