You probably don’t have enough time to get waxed or even read your daily horoscope, so why spend time with me?
Bet you wasted more time buying another black sweater you didn’t need at TJ Maxx this week. I’m not selling anything. I have no advice on skin care, where to find a good guy, what to make for dinner for 10 in 10 minutes, how to get your preschooler into Harvard, or how to have hot sex with your husband even after you’re married.
What’s left? Real life.
I wonder…
Is anybody besides my two BFF and Debbie, my dental hygienist, ever going to read this blog or even know about it?
I wish I had a lot of followers like Beyonce. If you have a lot of followers, it means you’re somebody really special, like Beyonce, or have done something really reprehensible like most politicians.
When I mentioned to the checkout girl at Shoprite I was doing a blog, she asked me why. I told her I was spending too much time eating and watching Netflix. Also because my husband has heard everything I have to say a million times, he doesn’t put on his hearing aids unless we have company.
Also since I’ve heard his jokes two million times and listened to him complain about the price of gas on Rt. 31 every day for 30 years and to his distress at not being able to find any good Chinese food in New Jersey, I hoped to have a new conversation with someone. Anyone. Please?
Welcome to my world
Nobody has an uneventful life but some people have a relatively simple life. Some things happen but not much. I wonder if they know how lucky they are.
I have an up and down life but I’m not manic depressive or bipolar.
Vincent van Gogh was manic depressive. Catherine Zeta-Jones is bipolar. I’m not like either of them. I’m just a Gemini.
The Story of My Life (and my hair)
Because I was born with red hair I was nicknamed Ginger. Then I got another nickname: Gingy.
I have no pictures of my hair or me until I was 13 because my family fell apart.
At 14, I dyed my hair blond using peroxide. It turned orange and green from the sun. Every time my friend Dora saw somebody with a really bad dye job she’d say, “Gingy, almost as bad as you.”
Who is that person with brown hair? This is my high school graduation hair. I had eyebrows then.
I like this picture of me because it doesn’t really look like me. I had a boyfriend that summer. It was taken in Woodstock but not the year of that big deal festival.
I thought if I cut my hair short I’d look like Audrey Hepburn. I didn’t.
Then I thought if I went to the beauty parlor (that’s what we used to call it) and they teased and sprayed my hair I’d look like Jackie Kennedy. I didn’t.
When I had children, I didn’t care about my hair. I had six children in seven years. I lost teeth and hair but I kept that husband (for a while).
When the children got older I wanted to look younger so I became a blonde. I don’t know if real blondes have more fun but I do know that faux blondes like me spend too much money on their roots.
When I got older I was too old to be a blonde so I got a blue hair dye at Walmart and did it.
Now I wear scarfs and hats.
You’re just a button click away…
and I’d love to hear from you.
About your world, your family, your joys and frustrations, growing up, growing older, even recipes—even though I stopped cooking–by request— years ago.
Hope your day turns out as well as I hope–but doubt–mine will. Goodbye until next time.
Ilene (Gingy)
I love love your blog..again. I had something to say at each individual section but since i can’t remember what i have to say exactly at the moment when i think it i forget it. that is one reason i always interrupt people.
It was so wonderful and serendipitous meeting you and your husband at the bus yesterday. I hope you had a wonderful day in NYC. I went to see “While I Was Waiting” at Lincoln Center and loved it.
I’d love to see you again and maybe have coffee at Citispot or Scout’s in High Bridge or Riverside in Clinton. (They have an iced chai latte that is to die for.)
Speak to you soon, Pam
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Dear Ilene,
Brava to you for writing such a quirky, engaging blog. I am not a blog person, but yours I could read. When I was working on my book Yiddish Yoga: Ruthie’s Adventures in Love, Loss and the Lotus Position I wrote to you about Love, Loss and you were a mensch — kind and supportive. And isn’t that all we can do for each other in this crazy life? I saw the show, and sat next to Nora Ephron and told her what a mensch you are.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I have a 4 year old daughter and I can’t imagine.
You are a talent and I love your voice, your style…..this blog I can follow!
I get pleasure from, cause I discovered exactly what I was having a look for.
You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless
you man. Have a nice day. Bye
Ilene, last night I zipped through your Love, Loss and What I Wore. What a delight! Growing up in the depression, my mother made her own clothes (dresses with purses to match!) and then made mine in the 50’s and 60’s. She taught me to sew – this was in the South where girls were required to take Home Ec – and I made many of my own clothes until adulthood in the 70’s when nice fabrics became expensive, imported clothes became cheap and time became precious. Your book had me remembering my own parade of outfits, sewn and bought, and the events linked to them.
Thank you for a completely marvelous memoir! Jackie
Hello everyone,
I am one of Gingy’s two BFF’s. We have been BFF’s since we were 10. A long time ago. I love her desperately. She mostly writes true stuff. I hope all of you have BFFs as brilliant and crazy as she is. Keep Writing… Dora
Woke up to sun this morning…it’s gonna be a beautiful day!
We haven’t had sun for weeks here in N. California (Southern Humboldt County).
It was truly a gift from God.
We hiked on our trail under the redwoods and our creek is raging with water coming down from the mountain. Water is such a blessing & the new gold they say around here..but too much water can run havoc such as, redwood branches and trees falling & unpassable roads and mud slides. Every area has its beauty but it also has a down side and we are living thru it, this winter of 2017. We lost our car when a redwood branch broke off and totaled it. All we kept saying was “we weren’t hit and our home is safe”. We have learned to be more grateful for what we have & to help others that are not as fortunate. Neighbors helping neighbors makes a community of love and every community needs more love in action.
No excuses Gingy..have someone teach you how to blog..love hearing from you.
I will never loose the Hippie in my soul..nor will you!
Peace & Love always…❤️❤️
Yes, Debbie your hygienist did read your blog…..love reading about your life!!
YAY!!!!
Oh, I am reading this and loving it.
April, Debbie, Terry, Carol, Erin, Marion, Kathy and everybody else,
Thanks for the compliments even though they’re embarrassing.
I don’t ever want this Blog to be an ego thing. Best part are your thoughts,
all of us sharing real stuff that makes us laugh and cry. Hope you’ll stay
with me.
Gingy (Ilene)
One of the things I really like about your blog–and your book–is that you write the way you speak. I just love reading you. And the comments are interesting too! I am still in the” dying your hair” stage of life (dark ash blonde). I used to wear scarves on my head hippie style when I went to Music and Art and Pratt. Now I wear them around my neck… I loved Woodstock back then; didn’t go for the festival, thought I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere near it, and I was right. My best friend went there often and got a little black dog there that she named Tinker after the street. I am a registered art therapist, licensed special ed teacher and NYC PreK teacher in a 2 room nursery school. Still working after all these years. I guess I’ll save anything else I have to say for another post. Good luck with this blog, it’s very enjoyable.
Yes, Debbie your hygienist did read your blog…..keep going!!!
Dearest Ilene,
You ARE somebody really special, and I look forward to hearing more from you on this blog. Your voice is at all times comforting, funny, wise, and honest. Sorry that I missed speaking to you on Feb 5th, but there were so many who wanted to talk to you… It is a delight to see this new venture from you!
Love
Terry
Hello Gingy……Love…Love…Loved your new blog…uplifting and adorable as you are!……Dotty’s Daughter from N.J.
I love this, and I love you! Thank you for sharing this with me… I’ve already shared with Kiera, and read it to John as well… Looking forward to reading more as I so appreciate your way with words. Your sketches are awesome! Glad you and Stan are our neighbors. 🙂
Well—– Myron is home from Engelmore more or less rehabilitated.
A big smile on my face as I read your blog. So many different lives but so much
in common, (women), which is a remarkable fact that we need you to point out.
Marion
Hi, I love your blog. I will send it to Rachel because she is your biggest fan. She still has your drawing you made for her years ago framed and hanging in her home. I have known you for much of your hair history and cherish our friendship even though we do not see each other often enough.
Oh Girls,
Arylyn, Janie, Nancy, Sarah, Karen, Bonnie, Marge, Ellen,
Carol, Jane,Eva, Phyllis, April, Susan, Judith, Gail, Amy,
Gina, Barbara, Patty, Melissa, Ann, Sheila,Donna,Terry,
Colette, Nina, Angie, Jathy, Ginny, Marion, Valerie…
I still don’t know how to answer you individually
but I want you to know how much hearing from
you means. Believe me, I know how lucky I am
to know you!
I feel like I’m giving an Academy Award thank you
speech and might have left someone’s name out–guys
don’t count.
xo
G,
Which book did you write that you told me the character was similar to my personality…I need to purchase it. I remember you gave me a copy but somehow someone borrowed it and never returned it. Thank you for just being you & also
Sharing your talent with others.
Peace & Love always,
Gingy,
When I was younger, 30 was old. When I drove my daughter to a concert we made a wrong turn and ended up in Harlem. There on a wall someone had written graffiti
“Age is just a number”. To this day that’s how I look at age, just a number. Out here in N. Calif, where hippies still live and farm so many young and old let their hair turn grey. Anything goes! We are not hung up on what is the new this and that. If it fits and if it is comfortable, I’m in. A year ago, my fiancé, Doug, who can never find his reading glasses, looked at me and said, “what happened to your eyebrow”?
I looked in the mirror and my left eyebrow was now 1/2 an eyebrow. How that happened, is anyone’s guess. Now, I know why my Aunt LuLu, penciled her eyebrows, back in the day. Rain is pouring here, but we would rather shovel rain than snow! Have an enriching day & take out your coloring book and color!
Love❤
Hi Julie’s mom, it’s me, Janie! Julie was my best friend at NYU so long ago, remember?! My friend Lia LaMonica offered to take me to the reading of “Love, Loss and What I Wore” at the 92nd St. Y Sunday night. I bought your book when it first came out & gave copies to everyone I know. I did not see the play when it was off-Broadway so I am so glad I got a chance to see it this time. I loved it! And hearing those stories made me very nostalgic. I used to call Julie every year on her birthday (which is coming up Feb. 26) until I lost her phone number in San Fran. When the show was over I scoured the audience from the balcony trying to catch a glimpse of any Beckermans that might have been in the theatre. But we had to get going because my friend had to drive her stepdaughters back up to Greenwich & I had to get to a Super Bowl party, even though I don’t watch football! My friends design the set for the halftime show every year so that’s all I watch! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you congratulations on all your success! Please wish Julie a happy birthday from me! Love, Janie ❤️
Actually, I was just thinking while I was microwaving supper,
there’s a teeny part about me.
Hi Girls and Aben,
Aben and I were in the same class in elementary school. He might not
want you to know how many years ago that was.
All those nice words from everybody–I feel like I’m at my own Memorial
service when everybody says nice things about the recently departed.
But so far, I’m not going (anyplace) and soon I’ll have another blog ready
that’s NOT ABOUT ME!
XO
Having you in my life again has given me more pleasure than these few words can convey. We have Aben in common (I see him often), and my cousin Carolyn Aaron was in “your” play in California. Come and visit Scottsdale. No snow in the Valley of the Sun here.
Dear Gingy, love, Love, LOVE your blog! Thrilled to see actual pix of you from years back – since I’ve only known you for 8 years, it’s amazing to see who you were.
And I so enjoy the hair drawings.
Why scarves, and when did you start wearing them? Do you still dye your hair? do you still have hair? I have some scarves for you, that I have moved twice and still not unearthed to send to you.
It was marvelous to see you on Sunday, and I hope I get to see you again, soon.
Much Love,
Karen
Even Donal Trump is following you! Love xxxxx
Hope you have better luck keeping up with a blog than I have–you’ll be fun to follow.
Hi Ilene,
Or should I say Gingy? I’m so glad we met at the Clinton bus station. I love the blog and your drawings. Your writing makes me laugh out loud. I too wanted to look like Audrey Hepburn when I was younger. My sister buys me a wall calendar every year with photos of Audrey. I will tell her of this blog and my other sister too whom I’m jealous of because she saw your play in NY and I didn’t! Looking forward to the next blog entry. I can also send this to my daughter, my coworker, my gym friend……
Oh joy! You make me laugh and boy do we need a laugh now.
I interviewed you for the Courier Post and it was life changing. I have tried to
follow in hour footsteps with webbed feet. But I must confess something about
hair, while we are on the subject.
The running gag I have going with my daughter, when we both had a
day from hell is that I text her, “But our hair is long and lustrous.”
Keep blogging those hair raising tales. You are the best!!!!
I guess I’ve been around you too much, as I can see your non-verbal expressions as you are saying all of this to me. The only thing missing is being trapped in a bathroom with you chastising me for not wearing make-up….. true gingy-story 🙂
Love you, Gingy. Best blog I’ve read in years and thank you for NOT giving me advice on make-up or wrinkle cream. Keep ’em coming.
Best blog in so very long- props to Carol dukes for sending me to this site. I actually have blue hair at the moment. I love it. I am ready to read your blog every single day.
You are real, and real is something rare these days.
Thank you!
Gingy, Yours is the best Blog I ever read and from now on it will be the only one! It made my day happy just to read it. Thank you for writing it and telling me about it.
Would love to follow you
Am I the only male who reads and likes what you have to say. Love the blog and I did go to Woodstock for the concert but that’s another story
Gingy! Loved this post. Simple. Charming. Self-aware. Our hair choices really do define us sometimes. Thanks for making this grey-haired girl smile.
Gingy!! I love your new blog, I love your sketches, I love your way with words, and I love you! Thank you for doing this. You’ve inspired me to get more active again (don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll blog) and you’ve inspired me to think about my hair, or at least other mile markers of my life. I have a dog but he’s not telling me anything I didn’t already know so I think we’re in the same boat. Sending you love and congratulations. I’ll visit you regularly! xoxo
P.S. Wow – I didn’t know that by making paragraphs I would take up so many boxes! xoxoxoxoxo
Dear Gingy,
I am so excited! THIS is all I need. I love seeing the photos of you, along with the sketches. I knew you were pretty when you were younger, obviously, but I like you now the best. You are what the “youngers” call #goals.
To recap: I bought LL&WIW when it first came out. Was that 22 years ago? It spoke to me like no other book. Yes, I read the high-brow books, but yours just hit me! I wrote you a fan letter and sent you a bracelet. You wrote back and offered to adopt me, or just chat about plastic surgery with me! We’ve kept up a bit on Facebook, I’ve bought and gifted dozens of all your books, we’ve ALMOST gotten together… I’m still slinging jewelry to television retailers and some stores too.
I’m ready. Now that I’m of the age where plastic surgery on my neck is being requested (silently in their minds but I can read minds) by all of my friends and family, I’m ready to retreat to NJ for a “vacation” of about 10 days or so and not post any photos of it. (Get what I mean…..?)
Your devoted and admiring fan, who herself has had 15 documented hair colors/ treatments (frosting, weaving, ballaging, etc) …..now blonde,
Carol Dukes
Wonderful News!
I will make the time to blog with you.
Your someone special in my life and glad we connected again.
Peace, Joy & Love
HI Ilene!
I met you 17 years ago behind the beauty counter at Nordstroms. I ran and got every one of your books. I laughed I cried. My mother went to meet you and got one signed for me. I cried again. I wrote you. You wrote back. ( more laughing and crying ) Since we last spoke I have moved from NJ to the twilight zone of Arizona. I got married ( again ) and finally at age 50…… found “my thing” Selling vintage hats. ( who would’ve thunk? ) I was even recently in a magazine. I stressed for days about how I would look. By the time the magazine came out I just didn’t care anymore and was just very proud. OH, I also discovered the wonderful magical invention of wigs. Yesterday I was blonde. Today I am brunette. Life is good. I am smiling from ear to ear about your blog. You just became the ONLY BLOG I will make time for. I love you Gingy! * I hope someday you will tell the story about climbing out of the back of your car on the side of the road!!!!!! smiling. x nina
Dear Gingy,
Would it delightful and courageous blog. I thought we were taught to keep all our hair experiments a secret? I love that you show the demarcation of your life in your hair styles. That rings so true for most of us.
Me? I was the curator of education at East Hampton Historical Society for a while and then hallockville Farm Museum. I’m history chick. I lived in Woodstock when I was first married on Tannery Brook Road. That was in the eighties before the second Festival and just as it was becoming gentrified. I’m a folk herbalist and love to tell stories of plants through history. And I look forward to hearing more about your loves your losses and all the real things experience life. All my best,
Colette
Gingy!
So glad you are strutting your stuff on a blog! Love hearing from you and seeing your sprightly drawings. I have a new-ish website. I’m always looking for more writing work and a publisher. Hope to see you at the next Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop!
Hi Gingy! I am going to enjoy reading your blog! My new thing is learning the ukelele! I think we all need to start new things! Kudos to you!!!
Hi Gingy
Enjoyed your humerous blog
So now you’ll have another dental hygienist as one of your followers
Hope you are well and yes there is good Chinese food in NJ.
You just have to go a little more East in the state
Ginny A.
Is there a way for Gingy’s blog to be sent directly to my email inbox?????? That way I am assured I can stay sane for the next four years. Thank you. God bless what used to be America. Xoxox Patti
Gingy: You are a riot, an inspiration, a true wit, a real original and a doll. I adore you. Thank you for doing this blog. Your admirer, Gina
You delightful person–what a joy to see you back in the saddle! Love, love, love this new work!
You haven,t changed a bit since I first met you in our freshman year in college! STill irrepressible, still funny, still beautiful and much loved. Keep writing!
It was always so amusing and a lot of fun to have you as my eccentric Aunt!!. You were a hippie before they there were hippies ;so fun especially since both of my parents are so straight up which is not a bad thing but I can get to be a grind after a while you however where the fun Weirdo. At times you made me giggle and then sometimes in my confusion you made me angry sorry about that but like they say you can’t pick your family
I am and always was an admirer of your creativity and your gift for a drawing and writing. parenting on the other hand may not have been your strong suit
But how does anyone train for that? Wishing you all good things love your niece,donna. ❤
Ginny…what fun to read your blog. Do you know that your book/now play “Love loss and what I wore” is going to be playing at the Players Guild in Leonia, NJ in February? Hope you get sell out crowds..
Hi Gingy, thank goodness you started a blog. Of course we need another, especially from someone with something to say. Looking forward to reading more! Good luck, Eva
Hi Ginny, I love your honesty and your easy, unpretentious style. I used to have eyebrows too, along with a thick head of hair. Now I am glad to be alive and well and enjoying life. I will forward (if that is the way to do it) this blog to my loved ones. There is some love and sanity in this world! Love, Phyllis
Hello Everyone who commented. Thank you. I wish I could answer you individually
but I don’t know how yet. I also wanted you to know that I didn’t pay anyone to
say nice things. Hope to get back to you when I know how. Ilene/Gingy
Gingy, I wish I was at the point in my life where I had nothing to do but watch Netflix. My husband and I should be retired and sitting under a palm tree somewhere, instead have to worry about getting our two girls into college. I guess when our lives calm down we will miss it.
Gingy I
Love it, thanks for sendin it to me. XoXo Terry
Bald guys admire all that you can do with your hair…..
I love your book and I love your blog. We can’t have dogs where I live, so I didn’t learn anything from them. Our cat, however, has taught me many things….
I’m always interested in reading what you have to say, Gingy.
Hi! This is Gina’s mom. Had dinner with my daughters tonight and Gina told me about your new blog. Love it! Hope to see you again one of these days.
It’s always great to have a place to talk about this crazy world of ours. I will pass it along, and check in as it grows.
This made me laugh more than once. I love it. Can’t wait to see more.
it is wonderful to see and to read and to know, i will follow it and i will pass it on when i figure out how to do that
Hi Gingy…It’s Melissa Allie’s friend. I love the blog. Your writing is very interesting and at the same time entertaining. Hoping you continue to post. In today’s world there is so much focus on social media. This worries me because my daughter is 8. Wondering what social media will be when she is a teen?? For me that is a scary thought. Life used to be so much more simple when we only had beepers and kids actually knew the true meaning of playing outside. Let’s plan a date for you to come into the office and get together with all of the girls. We would love to chat with you!
Love the blog Gingy! Looking forward to hearing more from you, other than what Allie tells me 🙂
Congrats, my pal! Love the post. Now you’ve stuck TNT under my botto so I can no longer put off activating my own feeble blog on the website I’ve owned for 2years but have been too timid to make more than a placeholder. So, game on!
As ever, you give me a nudge when I need it most.
Pocket.